Everyday I walk around seeing this person, and that person, having this conversation and that conversation. Physically being there but sometimes feeling completely invisible. I smile, listen and speak, trying to hear myself in the process. I sometimes try to step outside of myself and watch my demeanor and actions, imagining my own facial expressions; wanting to see what others see.
To know that you are loved yet still feel unseen is something throughout life I have battled with. Knowing that the only person to truly know, love, understand, respect and accept me for exactly who I am is my Lord Jesus Christ. Wanting so much to build that same relationship with others but in reality trying to allow myself to emulate that also is something I've realized will be a lifelong ongoing task. You strive to do it everyday but at some point there is some sort of misunderstanding, there is a day or moment where you simply fall short of that task. One missed phone call, one unanswered text, one moment of confusion sends you on a path causing you to wonder why aren't he, she, myself more like Him. The truth is we all have the capabilities to be more like him. The truth is we are "Him" as we are created in His image. While we fall short of his Glory on a regular basis, it is his grace that covers us. The one major difference we constantly encounter though is that while none of us are perfect. It is our imperfections that make us perfect to Him. The one thing to know and remember is that God is perfect. The reality is we are the individuals that hurt, stop calling and disrespect Him while he constantly forgives us on a moment by moment basis. The only thing I'm constantly learning is if the pain I feel when I experience that lack of connection, communication, response, respect and love is what He feels on a regular basis but still loves unconditionally and forgives. Then just like Him I need to learn to still be able to love through it and wholeheartedly forgive. The first person and hardest person being myself.
I have written a poem that I am sharing with you all... So please enjoy
By: Z
I looked in the mirror and I saw you
I didn't realize how detrimental this would be
I chose to be unseen just to be seen
I wanted so much for you to see
I did not realize I was blind
What a way our mind makes assumptions.
Personal desires, wants, leaves us rambunctious
If we're not careful we'll cause destruction
Stop and think about the others perspective
Their reality is not always our reality and that should be respected.
Lessons are learned from all around
while we can't fit their shoes, we can acknowledge their walk.
Step by step, we will get there
So don't let go before your destination.
Faith has away of making the uncertain certain.
So trust and believe that your journey is worth it.
May you all have a fabulous night, day, week, weekend based on whenever you are reading this blog.
Stay Blessed and keep on Moving in Faith.
I love you all ;-)